


War Machine

by witchGender



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Androids, M/M, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Species Swap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-05 12:11:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5374757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchGender/pseuds/witchGender
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where cherry bloods have become a little more accepted, Karkat Vantas is pretty happy training in the military and helping to expand the Condesce's empire. That is, until the Vast Glub occurs, wiping out every troll except for the cherry bloods and the fuchsias. Desperate to rebuild her race, the empress starts a fevered search for Karkat and a small band of cherry bloods, accompanied by her newly created biotech androids, and their leader, Eridan Ampora.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which the Empress Gives a Speech and All Seems Well

All of the known universe was in a hubbub. Trolls were tossing rumors like they were playing a vicious game of kickball, and even the lowest of blood castes knew all there was to know about the latest news from the Queen's city.  


She had recently had a breakthrough.  


Trolls had been using biotech for centuries, and with it, they had dominated galaxy after galaxy. Machines that were technically organic were far superior to metal machines, as they could be grown and modified endlessly. But never, in all her eons of life, had the Empress figured out a way to create a realistic troll-imitation with it. She had created artificial drones, but they were large, clunky, and unintelligent. She had scoured the minds of the greatest troll technicians in history, and finally, she had found a way.  


She had made androids.  


Karkat Vantas was not sure how to feel on the matter, to be completely honest. He was used to fighting alongside real trolls, and even though he would probably never even speak to one of the androids – or Exterminatormentors, as they had been dubbed – let alone fight with them, he still was a bit wary of the whole thing. He has seen a few too many sci fi movies as a kid to trust any sort of self-teaching AI, especially one designed to be a weapon. But it wasn't like the opinion of a lowly Eradicutter was going to matter, he was little more than a foot soldier.  


Karkat sighed as he finished getting ready, slipping on his jacket over his tight black shirt and black pants. An armband with his symbol in bright fuck-you red, knee-high black boots, and tough leather gloves marked him as a ground soldier. He strapped his sickle onto his weapon's belt and slid a knife into each boot. No soldier was allowed outside of their respite block without at least two weapons. To show up to an official company meeting unarmed was both dangerous and against protocol.  


He made sure to lock the block's door behind him as he headed down the hallway. As he walked, he passed several other Eradicutters, all of them small, like him, with relatively small horns and symbols in bright red. Originally, trolls with bright red blood were culled on sight due to the rebellion led by the Signless, but as it became clear by their increasing numbers that the gene pool really wanted to make a new blood caste, Her Imperial Condescension choose to accept them into the social order. The caste was still relatively new, and many older highbloods still considered the bright blooded trolls to be abominations. The creation of the Eradicutters was one of the Queen's many steps towards making them socially accepted. Taking advantage of the caste's natural small size, Eradicutters were designed to go ahead of the main body of the troll army and get rid of any enemy that could sound the alarm, armed only with small, undetectable, bladed weapons. It was a risky job. Karkat loved it.  
He headed into the meeting hall with his group, filing into their section. It was a large room, with a stage and plenty of room for soldiers to stand under it and look up. No chairs, of course. No one in this unit was important enough for a chair. No one higher than bronze here, except for a few officers. Karkat stood right next to a girl with a short braid and a symbol involving an X and several dots. She glanced at him, her bright red eyes like coals in the dim room.  


“It's too bad we won't get to see them in person, eh?” she asked quietly. Karkat nodded, not wanting to get caught talking. Personally, he didn't care if he got to see the Exterminatormentors. If it were up to him, he'd be back in his block, reading the latest romance novel he had downloaded onto his personal entertainment device. He looked to the front of the room as a screen was lowered onto the stage. A troll with a shaved head and a tattoo on half their face stepped in front of it, clearing his throat.  


“Tonight is a night to remember for the rest of your lives. You will be witnessing works of genius, innovations of design...” Karkat tuned out, letting the troll on stage drone on. He wondered, idly, what the Exterminatormentors would look like. He heard they were modeled after sea dwellers, but how closely? Did they look like normal trolls?  


He tuned back into the happenings onstage when the bald troll left and the screen began to show an image. The scene was outside, a large fenced-in area full of seated trolls, all indigo-blue and up. At the center stood a regal figure, taller than any other troll there, or anywhere, for that matter. That came from being immortal. The Queen was a literal giantess.  


Karkat's eyes widened as she lifted her arms, her massive amounts of hair filling the entire pathway on either side of her. She began to speak.  


“Trolls! My beloved people! All these sweeps I have sought for a way to protect us, to protect the life we have created for ourselves. And while you all may be invaluable soldiers, I hate to watch troll blood spill.”  


YEAH. AS LONG AS, YOU KNOW, IT'S AT LEAST A BIT BLUE-ISH.. Karkat thought bitterly.  


“And now, I have finally achieved my dream. I have made the perfect protectors. The perfect fighters. Obedient, strong, durable, unfeeling, unquestioning, lethal.”  


MAYBE SHE SHOULD'VE MODELED THEM AFTER BLUES INSTEAD OF SEA DWELLERS. NEVER HEARD OF A SEA DWELLER WHO WAS OBEDIENT FOR ANYONE BUT HER.  


“Tonight, I want you to meet them, and their leader. He in particular is a masterpiece. I modeled him specifically after the Orphaner Dualscar, to pay tribute to my most loyal Orphaner I have ever had.” She paused, as if suddenly emotional at the thought of the infamous war hero. “I hope that he will be all his inspiration was, and more.” She gestured out in front of her, to something the camera could not see. “Come forth, my Exterminatormentors!”  


There were gasps of awe long before the marching androids entered the frame. Despite himself, Karkat was a bit exited. The Queen had a way of inspiring him, even if he knew she was just spewing propaganda.  


When the group entered the frame, there were gasps throughout the room. It was a small group, only a dozen or so, but every single one was like a perfect example of troll beauty and power. Tall, elegant, they marched in perfect unison, their uniforms sleek and black, trimmed with violet. A single one marched before the rest, a bit of gold shining on his uniform. All eyes were on him as the group stopped just before the Queen. The leader bowed at the waist, while the others all dropped to one knee, heads bowed in respected. The Empress smiled like a shark that scented blood, coaxing the leader closer. He straightened and stepped up beside her. She lightly touched his arm, like a dragon petting its favorite jewel. The camera suddenly zoomed in, focusing on the faces of the Empress and her creation.  


Karkat felt his heart clench.  


He was beautiful. His face was perfect, elegantly framed by a pair of sharp-looking fins, horns shaped in graceful lightening shapes. His eyes lacked the normal troll gold, and were simply black holes containing bright circles of royal purple. Up close, it became clear that he wasn't actually wearing a uniform, his skin from the neck down was simply pitch black, covered in violet circuitry. Only the gold jewelry actually looked removable. He regarded the crowd with a completely blank expression, eyes burning with a cold intelligence. The Queen gently touched his arm again, and he spoke.  


“My name is Eridan Ampora. I am the leader of the first generation of Exterminatormentors. My primary function is to discover anything that threatens troll kind, or hinders its progress, and destroy it.” His voice was clear but emotionless, with a slight edge that sounded distinctly artificial. When he spoke, his mouth flashed with gleaming black teeth as sharp as viper fangs. Karkat shivered. The android looked like a troll, but at the same time, it was extremely clear that he wasn't one. “I am the most advanced android made by troll hands, and I can be updated indefinitely. I have superior strength and durability to any troll. I have been created to protect you. And I will not fail.” The crowd erupted in cheers, Eridan's expression not even twitching. The Empress looked excited enough to start squealing like a child. Karkat felt like spiders were crawling down his back. Something was very sinister about the bot's speech. It didn't help that the Condesce had felt the need to make him extremely attractive as well as extremely terrifying.  


Karkat headed back to his block as the video ended, grateful that he was no longer looking at the burning purple eyes on the screen. He had gotten the distinct impression that Eridan Ampora was watching him, even though that was impossible. As he ate his meal (dried food packages and vitamin supplements) he wondered again if he would ever get a chance to work with the imposing android and his brethren. The chances were basically zero. But it didn't stop him from hoping, just a little bit. They were impressive, he'd like to see them in action.  


He glanced at his time keeping device. It was almost morning. He'd had a long day of training, plus that damned meeting, and now he was exhausted. Sighing, he stripped and slid into his small, military-issued recuperacoon, letting the warm green slim cover him. His last thought before he fell asleep was of black teeth glinting sinisterly, and a pair of eyes as bright as violet stars.


	2. In Which There is a Lot of Screaming

It was nearly a month before Karkat thought of the androids in any depth again. He had been training his ass off at the same time as he struggled to get into the crowd of officers that hung around the settlement his group was stationed in. He was hoping to get the second in command position within the Eradicutters. It wasn't the best position, technically the lowest officer placement in existence, but it was a start, and he hoped to one day rise far, far above that position, into the role of Threshacutioner.

  


Hey, a guy can dream, right?

  


On the evening that Karkat was rather forcefully reminded of Eridan Ampora's existence, he was sparing with a rust-blooded soldier when his opponent suddenly dropped to the ground with an ear-splitting scream, clutching her head. Before Karkat could process the sight, most of the other trolls in the room did it as well, tears running from their eyes, gasps and pleads for mercy filling the air. Karkat and the few standing trolls covered their ears, running out of the building for help. But the sight was the same everywhere. Almost every troll in the compound was writhing on the ground as if they were being tortured, screaming in agony, clawing at their ears. Karkat realized, with horror, that there was blood pouring from their ears.

  


When he told others of the story later, he had no idea how much time it took for the trolls in the compound to die. He just knew that partway through it, the loudspeakers began to crackle, and any screen in the area suddenly showed the Empress' face. She looked furious and devastated all at once.

  


“Alright, listen up suckas.” she barked. She sounded shockingly different when she wasn't giving a formal address. “This ship is goin down. Apparently I went too far from my dear lusfish. She's pissed. And she's screaming.” She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. “It seems the only glubbers out there that ain't affected are me, any descendant that might be out there listfining, and the cherry bloods.” Karkat glanced around, and saw that she was completely right. The only trolls still unaffected were all of his caste. “Now I got no fuckin idea why that is, but I ain't gonna questfin it. If you're what I've got, then I ain't lettin you go. I'm sending automated ships to every settlement in the known universe. When one comes to where you are, get the fuck on. Resistance will be met with force. Any rebellion whale quickly be crushed. I still have my Exterminatormentors.” She took another breath, looking even more angry. “I'm gonna rebuild this empire if I gotta hunt you all down myshellf to do it. Believe me.” Then she seemed to turn and walk away, and for a moment, before the camera turned off, there was the image of a figure walking beside her. A figure with black and violet skin.

  


After the screen switched off, there was only silence. Every troll that had heard the glub was dead, laying in pools of their own blood, faces frozen in pain. The survivors stood, dotted across the compound, faces shocked, some clutching companions, some alone. There was a shriek as one troll found the corpse of his friend – or was it a quadrant? - and began to cry over it. Karkat felt hollow. Everyone who wasn't cherry was dead. _Everyone_. It felt surreal, and he was half convinced that it would turn out to be some awful prank, something the Queen planned to mock the new caste, or test them, anything. But as he and his companions started to gather up the dead and dump the corpses where they wouldn't stink up the compound, he realized that it was no joke. It really was just the Empress and them left. The highest and the lowest. Nothing in between but silently screaming mouths and bloodied ears and androids with cold gazes.

It took three nights for the small crowd of Eradicutters to gather themselves and get to talking. During those three nights, Karkat just spent his time wandering, sharpening his knives, trying to remember to eat, and being anxious. The way the Queen had talked about rebuilding their race, no matter what, did not make him feel safe. He knew her history, he knew what she was capable of. If so many cherry bloods hadn't been showing up in the egg clutches lately, he would not have survived past grubhood. They were only valuable to her because without them, she was alone. And she wasn't concerned for them, just for what the represented. Her only chance to rebuild. He shuddered to think of what that would involve for him and his fellow caste members. Some part of him became aware that they could not get on the ship, when it came. They had to run. Run far, and run fast.

  


“Attention, trolls!” said a voice suddenly crackling through the loudspeaker. “This is Zymurr Distlu, your commander.” You looked up, surprised. Commander Distlu hadn't given any orders for the past three nights. He was the troll who had been mourning the death of his moirail. “I am calling a meeting, right now, in the meeting hall. This moping has gone on too long. I am going to ensure that when the Queen's ship arrives, we will be ready to leave and serve her however we can. You have five minutes.” The speaker went quiet.

  


The hall was quiet as a tomb. Rather than standing in neat lines, the trolls are sprawled on the ground, sitting, laying, staying close to each other in groups or sitting in corners alone. Karkat settled onto the floor near a group of four as Commander Distlu took the stage. He was on the shorter side, like the rest of them, with closely cut hair and horns that looked like they had tried desperately to curl while they were forming, but just weren't big enough to spiral around. He looked grave, and sighed deeply.

  


“I know you're all upset about what happened. Believe me, I know. I lost a quadmate to that Glub. But we have a duty to do. A Queen to serve. We're the last of our kind, and all that's left of a massive empire. We need to do our best to collect ourselves. I've calculated that it will take about a week for the empress' ship to reach us, as she will no longer have the aid of a psionic to power any of her ships. In that time, I want us to-”

  


“So, that's it then? We're just going to hand ourselves over, like cargo?” Karkat wasn't sure what gave him the courage to call out the words, but he did. All heads turned to him, and Distlu's eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about, Vantas?”

  


“I am talking about the fact that she hasn't exactly been the nicest to us.” said Karkat, trying to keep his voice steady. “I mean, fuck, if it wasn't just for our sheer numbers, she would've had us all squished ages ago. She doesn't like us. Accepting us into the caste system was probably a humiliating thing for her.”

  


“That's enough.” Distlu said coldly. “I don't want to hear you insinuating that our empress wants anything other than the best for us.”

  


“But I'm not insinuating it, I'm stating it.” he said flatly. Other troll's eyes widened as he defied the order given him. “Think about it. What will she do with us? She's just gonna farm us for tissue, for DNA. Maybe force some of us to copulate to see if she can find a way to breed us without a mothergrub, cuz if the mothergrub wasn't killed in the Glub, it'll still be dead soon, with no jades to look after it.” Karkat balled his hands into fists as he forced himself to keep talking, not letting Distlu speak. “I say we tell her to shove her words and her trident up her ass!” Now the widened eyes were accompanied by gasps of shock and cries of outrage. “This is our only chance to be free! With the other bloods around, we never stood a chance of escape, but now that it's just us against her, don't you think we should at least _try_ to live on our own?”

  


“Enough!” The Commander looked ready to pop a blood vessel. “You, Vantas, are not to say another word! If you speak again I will come down there and deal with you myself.” Karkat was about to tell him to come and prove it when one of the trolls beside him stood. The troll wore thick classes and had hair messier than anything Karkat had ever seen in the military before.

  


“Can the rest of us speak then?” asked the troll, his large front fangs poking over his bottom lip. Distlu glowered but nodded. “You may speak, Etberg.” The troll smiled and turned to face the group.

  


“I think Vantas is right! Now, before you all start yelling, remember, she didn't sound like she was gonna be gentle with us when she got us. She's _expecting_ escape. She's expecting us to fear being a part of her plans. That means we don't wanna be a part of them.” His words seemed to give a few of the trolls pause. Before the Commander could tell them all to shut up, a girl troll bounced to her feet.

  


“He's right!” she said, her eyes wide behind round glasses, her small horns coming to points. “She's gonna have something nasty waiting for us when we get back, cages maybe, or she might even freeze us! She'll live forever, but we won't, she'll want to preserve us.”

  


“A very high possibility.” agreed another girl, this one with horns that curved in slightly and bright red lipstick. “She has no reservations in hurting us for her cause, that is clear. I am not sure sure I am comfortable walking into the clutches of someone bent on using me for what will no undoubtedly become either a cloning or a breeding project.”

  


“Also, uh...” another troll has jumped in, one with dark glasses and a round symbol. “What if she can like, breed trolls of other castes from our DNA? I'm pretty sure she could do that. Then she'd have no use for us, it's like Vantas said, she hates our caste, she'll wipe us out when she no longer needs us. Like, I'm not saying running away sounds fun, I'm no coward, and running from the empress of the known universe is like walking up to a pailing drone with no bucket and asking politely for it to leave, but if there's a chance, then I'd say we should take it. I mean, fuck, you only live once, right? It would be cool to be free, like-”

  


“EVERYONE SHUT UP!” screeched Distlu, glaring at them all. “Etberg, Hayler, Ladlon, Stridé, sit the fuck down. I don't care about your little rebellion fantasies, we're talking the real world here. And you!” he rounded on Karkat, pointing at him and glaring. “Don't think I don't know who you are, I see your symbol. Probably think you're something special, being the spawn of the Sufferer, eh? Leading a rebellion, just like your ancestor? Well you can forget it. The Condescension is the best thing that's ever happened to any of us, and I won't let you lot try and fuck things up by betraying her!”

  


At first, there was only silence as the trolls all looked at each other. The four that had defended Karkat drew closer to him, and he felt glad for it. He made a mental note to thank them all and learn their first names. As the tension in the room failed to dissipate, a hand was raised into the air. The Commander stiffly nodded to the owner, who carefully rose to his feet. He was a lanky troll, slightly taller than some of the others in the room, with a calm expression and shades shaped like triangles.

  


“I say we split into two groups. I feel like we're all pretty divided on the issue, so let's just divide completely. Pick who we wanna go with, Vantas or Distlu. Everyone gets what they want.” His proposal was met with silence at first, then Distlu nodded stiffly. He clearly disliked the idea, but he also looked too tired to argue. Karkat felt a little bit sorry for him as trolls started to stand, slowly arranging themselves on one side of the room or another. To his surprise, by the time they were done, the group was almost divided completely in half. Distlu looked livid. The trolls that had sided with Karkat looked scared but at least somewhat certain. Karkat prayed they weren't making a huge mistake.

  


“Fine.” snapped Distlu. “I see you've made your choices. Stay out of my way, Vantas. I don't want to see your or your little band of idiots trying to keep me and the loyal trolls who have agreed to come with me from leaving. If you attempt to stop us, I will kill you. Now get out of my fucking hall.”

  


Karkat met the Commander's burning gaze for several seconds, then turned and walked out, followed by the soft footsteps of his new team following behind him.

  



	3. In Which There Is Excitement Over Cans and Karkat Uses a Gun for the First Time

 

“So, what's the plan?”

The question was asked the second the meeting hall doors swung shut. Karkat felt his heart drop into his stomach and turned to look at the speaker, a boy with a wide grin and hair that went up at an odd angle.

“Well, uh... that's the problem. I didn't really have a plan? I didn't mean to blurt that out in there, I kinda got in over my head... Now we're all fucked up the ass with a pike...”

“So you're a bit impulsive. I like that in a leader!” The boy stuck his hand out to shake. “The name's Jakkyt, Jakkyt Elgish. Don't be afraid to use my first name, makes sense that we should all get chummy, right? I mean, there's only a dozen of us.”

Karkat slowly nodded and shook the offered hand. Jakkyt's grip was firm and confident. “Karkat. And yeah, I guess knowing names would be good...”

“Oh, sweet! I hate this whole formal military last name hoofbeastshit!” announced a girl with curly hair and bright red lipstick. “I'm Roxall, if you call me Loluné I won't answer.”

They all said their names as they walked, headed to the mess hall. The four that had defended Karkat turned out to be Jonnan, Daevin, Rosein, and Jadema. Jakkyt and Roxall's friends were Durkal and Javane. A sweet girl troll with terrible facial scarring was called Callie, and she stuck close to a bald, sour-faced troll named Caalib. The last troll in the group didn't introduce himself, as he wore the red cloth over his mouth that indicated he was mute. Karkat sighed in annoyance.

“Can anyone tell me this fucker's name?”

“Yes.” said Daevin at once, tossing an arm over the small, mute troll. “He's Wyworn Vagaon, he's my moirail, and he's fucking great, okay? If anyone says anything even remotely derogatory about him being mute I'm gonna break your horns off with my teeth.” He glared at the group, and Wyworn smiled behind his mask. He reached a hand up and gave Daevin's chest a tender pap.

“Calm down, spitfire.” said Karkat tiredly. “No one's gonna drag your 'rail.” He paused in front of the mess hall doors, looking over the small, ragtag group. They were unimpressive, to say the least. Four of them needed glasses. One of them was mute, and even tinier than cherry bloods usually were. Caalib was giving off some seriously aggressive vibes. But they also looked bright, happy despite the turmoil they had been tossed into. Many had determined looks in their eyes. Karkat couldn't help feeling a little swell of hope in his chest.

“Alright, you hopeless dungbrains.” he said with a small smile. “Let's get in there and eat, then we'll see about that plan.”

 Eating, it turned out, was easier to talk about than to achieve. Without its maintenance crew, the mess hall hadn't been run properly since the Vast Glub. Hungry trolls that had ventured in during the past few days had simply raided the various storage devices and left. Some of the machines had been left running and were now broken or serious power drains. Karkat wasn't even entirely sure that any food they might find would be any good.

“Okay, maybe if we split up-”

“Don't worry about this man, me and Wyworn got this.” Before Karkat could protest, Daevin and Wyworn were off into the depths of the mess hall kitchen. He blinked, then looked at the others.  
“Uh, well, guess they know what they're doing... As for the rest of you, just, search around and see what you can find. I'm pretty sure the thermal hulls are still working, although I'm not positive they'll have anything in them... Plates and shit would be good too. And anything we might need when we... you know... fuck off.” There were nods all around and the group divided up, starting to wander. Karkat took it upon himself to start collecting knives. He found a thick cloth sack that probably used to hold mashable roots and placed the knives into it, pulling them out of cupboards and drawers and out from under appliances. He spotted a large clever in a cupboard and climbed up on the counter to get it, stretching up on tip toe. He was silently ranting about ridiculously high things built for people of higher castes when his hand managed to bump the clever and knock it out of the cupboard. It shot past him towards the ground, nicking his cheek. “Shit!” he yelped, jumping down. As he reached for the clever, another hand sailed into view and picked it up. He straightened to see it was a smiling Jadema.

“Hi! I guess we had the same idea, huh? I was picking up knives on the other half of the nutrition block.” She frowned slightly when she saw his cheek. “Oh dear, hold on a sec...” She fished a small adhesive bandage out of her pocket, much to Karkat's surprise. Her smile returned when she saw his expression. “It's habit. I had a lusus who liked to get into fights, so sometimes I'd have to bandage him or myself on the go.” She dabbed the blood away with her sleeve and stuck on the bandage.

“Uh, thanks.” said Karkat, wincing when she touched the cut. “What was your lusus?”

“A huge barkbeast. Really pretty, when he wasn't trying to fight every other lusus around.” She handed Karkat the clever and as he put it in his bag, he was suddenly reminded of cleaning up after his own lusus, one of the many times after he wrecked their nutrition block. Poor loud, obnoxious, well-meaning crabdad.

Karkat decided he needed to find something else to think about right that very second.

“Oh Caalib, don't be silly, I know not to burn myself on a heating cell!”

“Callie, I swear to fuck, if you try to climb inside that thing-”

“It's off!”

“I'll tie you to a chair before I let you risk your ass like that!” Karkat ran in the direction of the shouting, finding Caalib wrestling with Callie, his claws digging into her skin. Karkat shoved himself between them.

“Knock it off, piss ants! What the fuck's going on?” Callie huffed as she smoothed out her uniform.

“I thought I saw something inside the heating cell, the deactivated one.”

“She's going to hurt herself!”

“No I'm not!”

“Shut up both of you!” Karkat snapped. “Caalib, go check on Wyworn and Daevin, see if they need help. Callie, I'll watch your back and warn you if you're gonna touch something dangerous.” Caalib grumbled but slunk away. Callie gave Karkat a relieved smile.

“Thank you, truly. I don't mean to be a hassle, but Caalib... he's hard to deal with, sometimes.” She knelt and started crawling into the heating cell, Karkat watching her carefully.

“What's his deal, anyway? The guy acts like he owns you.” He heard a sigh from inside the heating cell.

“I think in his mind, he does. Caalib and I were neighbors when we were younger, and our lusii were of the same species, so they got along. We ended up spending time together so our lusii could play. He got rather... well, nosey. Clingy. It was kind of uncomfortable, but then he did something incredible.”

“What? Also, stay left, there's a wire sticking out.” She adjusted, thanking him.

“The incredible thing he did was saving my life, actually. His lusus got out of control and spit acid in my face.” Karkat shuddered. NO WONDER SHE LOOKS LIKE HER SKIN MELTED. “He killed it, his own lusus, so it would get off me. And he cared for me, tended to my wounds so they healed safely. Ever since then, we've stuck together. I had to protect him so he didn't get culled for not having a lusus, and he looked out for me in turn. When we left Alternia, we still stuck together.” As Karkat listened, he tried to picture the sour-faced Caalib sacrificing his own lusus to save his friend, staying by her side for weeks, changing bandages and feeding her.

He couldn't visualize it very well.

With an annoyed huff, Callie crawled back out of the heating cell. “Well, there's nothing in there but a lot of dirt and something that must've roasted alive, because it smells awful.” She gave Karkat a smile, and her scarred lips exposed most of her teeth, making her look like a grinning skull. “I'd better go make sure Caalib isn't vandalizing the storage units or something. Toodles!” Karkat watched her skip off with a sense of utter bewilderment. However, he didn't have long to feel that way, because she practically ran into Caalib, Daevin, and Wyworn, who were all carrying massive armloads of cans. Daevin was beaming like he'd been appointed head Threshacutioner. Caalib looked completely fed up.

“Check it, squad!” said Daevin, dumping his armload of cans on a table. “There's a ton back there. Most of it's stuff that's safe to eat straight out of the nutrition cylinder, too. If we grab it all before Distlu gets his hands on it, we can stock up for the trip outta here.” He looked at Karkat, expression expectant.

“Uh, yeah, good.” Karkat said oh so elegantly. He was kind of distracted by the sight of Wyworn carrying a stack of cans taller than himself. “We'll get the rest out later. For now, everyone grab something to eat.”

The group fell on the pile and each grabbed a can. Those who had been collecting eating utensils passed them out, and they all arranged themselves in a circle on the floor. Karkat opened his can of crab meat and started digging in, glad to be eating instead of talking. He looked around at the group, observing. Rosein and Roxall seemed deep in a serious conversation. Callie was trying to talk to Jakkyt, but Caalib was vying for her attention rather loudly. Wyworn was stacking cans in front of himself in a little wall. Karkat raised an eyebrow, which Daevin saw.

“He doesn't like people watching him eat.” he explained, his mouth half full of apple sauce. “Doesn't like people seeing his mouth.”

“O... kay?” That seemed odd to Karkat, but he figured it wasn't hurting anyone. He glanced to the troll next to him, Durkal, who met his gaze and nodded silently. Karkat felt a bit awkward.

“Uh, hey.”

“Yo.” Durkal popped a small, pickled vegetable into his mouth. “Sup?”

“Not much.” There was silence as they both ate, tension making Karkat nervous. Finally, he blurted out “What made you do it?” Durkal looked back at him, puzzled.

“Do what?”  
“Suggest we split up. Ask people to follow me. It's a ridiculous idea, we're probably gonna die before the sweep is over, if we can even get off this rock. No one escapes from the empress.” He watched as Durkal seemed to silently consider the question. He swallowed a mouthful of food.

“Cuz I've been thinking the same stuff you said for a long, long time now.” Karkat raised an eyebrow. Durkal set his can down and turned to face him better.

“You see, I never bought this whole story the Condesce fed us, about letting us live because there were so many. She's wiped out a caste before, why not us? I felt like something was fishy, no pun intended.” He shrugged. “So when you started talking about getting out from under her claws, I figured, why not? Let's do this shit.”

Karkat felt kind of shocked. Every troll was expected to love and adore the empress, believe in her, support her unconditionally. Those who didn't would not live to tell the tale. For Durkal to quietly be questioning her reign for sweeps, waiting for the right moment to act on his suspicions, was incredibly unusual.

“So, what, you've just been waiting for someone to say 'Let's blow this joint?'”

“Not exactly. I didn't think anyone would ever challenge her in my time, and I didn't feel like gambling my life away by starting the fire myself. But, I always figured, if someone starts getting nosey, I'll help em. Then you came along.” He smiled a tiny bit. “And now we've got a week to run for our fucking lives.”

 

The week was up faster than anyone would've liked. Karkat and his team had spent every waking moment making preparations. None of them were pilots, so Javane and Jonnan had taken it upon themselves to learn how to fly one of the small spaceships available in the small docking bay just outside the settlement. All of the ships came with reliable autopilots, but Karkat had insisted that someone learn how to fly at least a little bit. Roxall and Callie had help Daevin and Wyworn to gather, organize and store away all the food they could. Durkal had gathered weapons from the armory. Jakkyt and Jadema had gotten ahold of several star maps and charted a course to an abandoned planet where the group could hopefully hide out for a while and decide what to do next. Rosein was constantly monitoring Distlu's group from afar, trying to see if they were planning to stop them. So far, they seemed content to wait for the empress' ships to come for them. Caalib had spent most of his time fussing over Callie or complaining to Karkat about the others, but he hadn't caused any real trouble.

Karkat felt ready to die of a heart attack when he woke up on the night of departure.

He met his group outside their ship, all of them carrying small packs full of their personal belongings. They all mumbled good evening. Karkat glanced around and noticed Rosein and Jadema were missing.

“Where-”

“Rosein said something about not trusting Distlu's group and she ran off. Jadema went after her and now neither have come back.” It was Jakkyt who had spoken, and he sounded scared. Karkat frowned.

“Why would she be worried?” Barely had he asked the question when there was suddenly a loud boom. Several members of the group jumped, everyone clapped their hands over their ears. Karkat looked around in a panic.

“NO!” He knew that sound. It was the sound of an empire ship light jumping close to a planet. It meant a ship was now right above their atmosphere.

And he only knew of one ship it could be.

“She can't be here yet! We timed it, she's early!” Jonnan yelled, eyes wide.

“Chums, look alive!” Callie was pointing across the flat sandy ground to where two specks were running towards them. Karkat recognized them as Rosein and Jadema.

“They ratted us out!” Jadema snarled, the moment they were within hearing rang. “Rosein doubled-checked the S.O.S. signal they sent out and found a coded message! They told her to hurry, and to send help!”

Karkat's stomach dropped into his shoes. He knew what kind of “help” she'd send, and he didn't want to be here to meet it.

“Go, go, go! Get onboard!”

But it was too late. Even as he gave the order, the sand was suddenly kicked up around them as a small, bright red ship came to land on the field not far from them. The second it landed, the gangplank lowered, the ship still humming like a massive, demonic insect. Karkat felt paralyzed, staring at the group of three figures standing inside the ship. They stood perfectly still, glowing softly violet, horns silhouetted against the light given off by the inside of the ship. The leftmost one had horns that went up and out, like a capital T. The one on the right had horns like backward facing question marks.

The one in the center had horns shaped like bolts of lightening.

Red eyes met glowing violet. Karkat's heart seemed to stop, the world dropping away for a moment. He felt like a prey beast caught in the gaze of a predator. There was no hope, no thought of escape. Just petrifying fear and the cold, threatening eyes of Eridan Ampora.

Then someone grabbed Karkat's arm.

“Karkat, you idiot, run!” It was Jadema. Jerked by the forced of her pull, Karkat manged to look away from the android who was intending to either kill him or drag him back to the empress. He stumbled after her as they ran towards the ship, the others already halfway there. He could hear the androids pounding across the sand after them. His heart still felt like it was in his feet.

Running up the gangplank, he took a headcount of those running ahead. Thankfully, they weren't missing anyone. Once he was on board, they could take off.

“Jonnan, Javane, to the cockpit, get us out of here!”

“On it, Captain!” they answered together, disappearing around a corridor. Karkat reached the top of the gangplank and turned, heart pounding. The androids had caught up fast, and were at the base of the gangplank. A laser shot past Karkat's ear, aiming for one of them. It dodged to the side, and Karkat was shoved over.

“Take this!” Durkal tossed him a laser pistol, and Karkat tried to aim it and shoot. The androids moved too fast to hit, but shooting them forced them to walk slower, so Karkat forced himself to continue. He had never handled a gun before – Eradicutters were only given knives – but he tried anyway. When the whole ship started to shake, he felt hope swell in his chest. The ship started to lift, and the androids stumbled. The gangplank began to roll under, and one fell off. The remaining two realized their time was up and ran for the closing ship doors. Durkal managed to shoot one in the face, knocking it off balance and throwing it to the ground. But Eridan was still there, and Karkat watched with dread as black fingers seized the doors and held them open. Durkal tried to shove the android back, but all he got for his efforts was a punch that sent him sailing back several feet. Karkat backed up, at a loss for what to do. Jakkyt ran at Eridan, yelling, expression wild.

“Have at you, machine!” He leapt, followed closely by Jadema and Caalib, the three clinging to the android like monkeys. Eridan twisted and turned, throwing and tugging, trying to get them off. Jadema and Jakkyt had both hit the floor before Eridan suddenly froze, the air filled with the sound of screeching metal. Wyworn looked up, panting. He had managed to climb up on the android's back, unnoticed. He still hand his hand on a knife sticking out of Eridan's neck. Eridan didn't move. The wound sparked and fizzled. For a second, they all saw Eridan's eyes flicker. Then he looked at Karkat, and spoke.

“I surrender.”

 


	4. In Which Everyone is Uncomfortable But Especially Karkat

“I'm gonna do it.”

“Dude, if you just walk in like that, he's gonna kill you. It doesn't matter that Condy wants us alive for her repopulation project, if one of us dies so she can get the rest she won't care.”

“He's not an animal, Roxall, he has the ability to negotiate.”

“He's not a troll!”

“I know that! But he is intelligent, I mean, he surrendered, didn't he?

“So?”

“So I'm gonna try to talk to him.” Karkat looked around at his team, all sitting in chairs around the meeting table. He was standing, his hands on the table. Every single one of them looked either terrified or fed up.

It had been two days since liftoff, and everyone was on edge. After his surrender, Eridan had allowed himself to be calmly led to the ship's only holding cell and locked inside. Karkat hadn't been able to forget the look he gave him through the small window in the cell door. In the two days that had passed, they had had no trouble. The other Exterminatormentors had not followed them in their ship, and Eridan had not tried to break out. They had made good time. The only issue had been the sleep they'd lost from nervous. Karkat had decided he might as well confront the thing that was scaring them all shitless and figure out exactly what Eridan was no doubt plotting behind the white cell door.

The others hadn't liked the idea so much.

“Are you sure we can't change your mind?” asked Callie, eyes sad. Karkat nodded. She sighed and looked away.

“Hey, come on guys, don't look so fucking grim, you're like a bunch of lusii who squished their kids.” The joke didn't make anyone smile. He sighed and straightened up. “Okay, fine then. I'm going to talk to him. Wish me luck.” He turned and walked out, firmly not meeting anyone's eyes.

He walked down the corridor, forcing himself not to slow or stop. Now that he'd made up his mind, he couldn't allow any thought of changing it. Reaching the cell door, he took a deep breath and typed in the code to unlock it. The door slid open. Eridan was sitting inside on a white cot, facing the door, expression blank. The hole in his neck looked considerably smaller, but it was still visible. His eyes were just as piercing as ever. Karkat stepped into the cell, not meeting them.  
“H-Hello.” He cursed silently when his voice cracked, clearing his throat. “I'm Karkat Vantas. I'm the captain of this ship.”

Eridan nodded politely, eyes not leaving Karkat. “It's a pleasure, Captain Vantas.” he said cooly. Karkat felt awkward. Having a sea dweller, or at least, a sea dweller-shaped robot, seemingly treat him with respect, was a unique experience.

“I see your, um, wound is better.”  
“Yes. I am outfitted with the necessary programs and abilities to allow for self-repair. In another night, I will be as good as new.”

“Are you going to attempt to break out, once that's over?” asked Karkat, his mouth dry.

“No.” Eridan replied simply. Karkat fidgeted and started to pace. The android's eyes followed him.

“Why not?”

“I have my reasons.”

“You could probably overpower us on your own.”

“I definitely could. If your underling had not snuck up on me, I would have.”

“And I bet you'd know how to fly this thing back to the empress.”  
“With ease. I wouldn't even need to be at the wheel. I'd just replace the autopilot with my own program.” Karkat got the distinct sense that the Exterminatormentors had been given a sea dweller's sense of pride.

“So, why not break out and do that?”

“As I said, I have my reasons.” Eridan's tone had not changed, nor had his expression. Karkat was starting to get frustrated.

“So, what, you're just going to sit in this cell and let us get away? Are you gonna wait until we land, then notify the queen of our location?”

“I don't have to wait for you to land to know where you'll be going.” At his words, Karkat turned and faced him, alarmed. Eridan's expression still hadn't changed.

“What are you talking about?” Karkat watched as Eridan lazily lifted a hand. He flicked it, as though flicking an animal on the nose, and one claw extended to several inches long. Karkat's stomach clenched.

A STAB CONNECTOR. Even though most biotech had ports to plug other devices into, stab connectors could be used to connect where there was no port, like a needle stabbing into flesh. Eridan was clearly designed to connect to any other biotech machine. A ship, for example.

“I would merely need to connect to your ship and discover where the autopilot is taking you.” he said, flicking his hand again, the claw retracting. He placed the hand on the cot beside him once more, eyes on Karkat's. “If I felt like it, I could take over your entire ship from this cell.”

Karkat felt like he was in some kind of awful lightmare, slowly realizing that the entire world was out to kill him.

“So, we're at your mercy.” he said quietly. Eridan cocked his head to the side.

“That implies I want you to be at my mercy.” He leaned forward, seeming all the more like a troll with the gesture. Karkat's throat was so dry he wondered if he could still speak. “The fact of the matter is, Captain, that I don't want you at my mercy. Although, I am glad that I could put you at my mercy if I so choose. Makes my life so much easier. But as things stand, I will not force you into any position you'd rather not be in. Consider me another passenger on your ship. Let me out of this cell or leave me in it, I don't really care. I will not attack your crew or cause trouble. Unless, of course, one of them attacks me.”  
“You're going to do something to stop us.” Karkat said accusingly. “You can't not. You work for the queen, you can't just let us get away. I should toss you out the air lock.”  
“Try and I will slaughter you, take over this ship, and bring your pathetically small crew to the Condescension.” Eridan replied cooly. Karkat's heart clenched.

“Fine.” he said, wetting his lips. “Fine. I'll let you walk around. But if I see you put one claw out of line -”

“Then we'll both be in more unpleasant situations.” The android was so assured, so in control, it made Karkat feel sick, not knowing what he was planning. But he didn't see an alternative. He stood, walked over to the cell door, and opened it. To his shock, Jadema and Jonnan were both outside.

“You're alive!” they both cried, then stopped short, staring past him. Karkat suddenly felt a presence right behind him, nearly touching him. He froze, waiting for death.

“Captain, if you would be so kind as to get out of my way? You did say you'd allow me to leave the cell.” Karkat nearly died of embarrassment at the faint squeak that escaped him. He shuffled past Jonnan and Jadema, not meeting their shocked gazes. Eridan swiftly walked past all of them and down the hall. Jadema and Jonnen rounded on Karkat.

“You let him out?!”

“Karkat, he's going to have us on the empress' doorstep in an hour!”

“He's not going to do anything.” said Karkat, eyes focused on the wall.

“What?!” they shrieked in unison. Karkat turned to them.

“Tell the others. Tell them-” He paused, considering how much to let them know. “Tell them not to do anything. Don't attack him, don't react, don't freak out. I don't know what's up with him, but he said he's got no plans to harm us or turn us in.” He decided not to tell them about the stab connector.

“You just swallowed that hoofbeast shit?!” yelled Jadema. “He just says “Oh, nah, I just wanna come along for the ride” and you let him walk around like he's not a killer robot designed to break all of us like plastic dolls!” He cringed, but her yelling was beginning to piss him off.  
“Look, just back off, okay? I'm captain, I make the decisions, and I say just fucking let him be!” He stormed away, ignoring her scowl. He didn't want to think about the shit choice he'd just made. He didn't want to think about how pissed Caalib was going to get, how scared and wide Wyworn's eyes would become when he heard the news.

He didn't want to think about the heat rolling off Eridan's body as he stood behind him, or the quite murmur of his voice as he spoke in his ear.

Cursing his own illogical brain, Karkat stormed into his respite block and slapped the button to close the door, wishing he could go to sleep and wake up in his recuperacoon back at the military settlement, see his green blooded commander shout at his comrades, and never think about androids ever again.

 

Unfortunately, when he had the guts to come out of his room, androids would be the main topic of conversation.

Upon entering the ship's meeting room, which had also become the place people met to hang out, he came across Roxall leaning casually against the wall, in conversation with Eridan, and eating a bag of dehydrated root snacks. Karkat was just about to slink away when they both saw him. Roxall waved, beaming.

“Hey Karkat! Come over here!” His shoulders slumped slightly as he moved closer. “I've been talking with Eridan and oh man, he's the shit. I've never gotten to talk about computer programming so in dept before!”

“You like computers?” asked Karkat, ignoring Eridan's eyes on him.  
“Uh, yeah, they're totally freaking awesome. I just never got to actually learn much past basic programming.”

“As is expected for your caste.” said Eridan. Karkat kind of wanted to punch him in the face. Roxall just giggled.

“Yeah, there was really no respectable job I could find except joining the Eradicutters. And it was pretty fun while it lasted, don't get me wrong, but I'm thinking now that we make our own rules, I might start studying computers again.” She turned to Karkat, holding out her bag of snacks for him to take one. “Eridan's so advanced, it's wicked cool. He's actually got artificial feelings that are influenced by chemicals that his brain reads, so it's like ours!”

“Sure doesn't act like he has feelings.” mumbled Karkat, taking a snack and nibbling.

“Just because I am better at hiding my feelings than a troll doesn't mean I do not experience them.” said Eridan. Karkat decided that, if nothing else, Eridan clearly experienced feelings of narcissism.

“Well, I'm glad someone is cool with the whole “let the killer robot walk free” thing. How are the others taking it?” He watched nervously as Roxall's face fell.

“Jadema and Jonnan are furious, so is Jakkyt. Javane is seriously concerned that you either hit your head or are under mind control.” She suddenly paused and looked at Eridan. “Could you do that? Mind control?”

“No.” he said. “I do not come equip with think pan chips or any other such devices.”

“Thank fucking god for that.” grumbled Karkat. Eridan looked at him, and for once, his face seemed to be showing some kind of expression, although what exactly it was was hard to tell.

“Why Captain, are you implying I would actually use such devices if I had them?” He sounded almost like he was teasing. Karkat felt his face heat up slightly.

“Fuck you, you're a troll-made monster working for a lady who wants us all dead or imprisoned, I'm allowed to think you're capable of anything.” Roxall giggled again, and the odd expression on Eridan's face continued to be a thing that existed. Karkat wanted to sink into the floor.

He was saved by Durkal and Daevin walking in. They both paused, Daevin looking uncertain, Durkal looking blank. Eventually Durkal gave them a nod and both continued on their way to the table. They sat, and Karkat joined them, as Eridan and Roxall seemed to be once against absorbed in conversation about something having to do with “chemical electric influences”. Daevin leaned close to Karkat and muttered.

“Just so you know, I think you're signing our death warrants by letting him out.”

“I expected that much. But honestly, we all expected him to bust out anyway, so what's the point in pretending like we can contain him?”  
“But why let him walk free? Why not just get rid of him?”  
“Do you honestly think we could?” asked Durkal. “He won't fall for the trick Wyworn pulled twice. He could beat us all in three minutes flat. If we make one move against him, it's over for us. We've got no choice but to go along with his demands.” Karkat was relieved that at least someone got the picture.

“Exactly! I have no fucking clue what he expects to gain from this, but we don't have much of a choice.”

“I can hear you, know know.” said Eridan idly. Everyone at the table shut up. “I still have no intentions of harming or stopping you, so I'd say you can stop worrying about me now. As flattering as it is that you all can't stop thinking about me, you really don't need to. I am not a threat.”

“You're a threat as long as you work for the empress.” snarled Daevin. Karkat didn't know whether to feel angry or embarrassed.

“Who I work for isn't relevant to this topic. The point is that you don't need to keep talking about me like I am about to pounce on you at a moment's notice.”

Karkat sighed as the two continued to argue, Durkal trying to intervene but not making much progress. Roxall eventually left and soon came back with Wyworn, who saw Daevin getting red in the face and quickly shuffled over to him. He pushed and pushed on Daevin's chest until he sat, them crawled into his lap.

“Wy, come on, I'm trying-” He was cut off by a firm pap on the mouth. Any following protests where quickly silenced by Wyworn's little hands papping his face and chest. There was non of the customary shooshing that normally came with a papping, but Daevin was soon silenced nonetheless. He relaxed back into his chair, hugging Wyworn to his chest, nuzzling the smaller troll's head. Wyworn smiled behind his scarf and snuggled closer. Everyone in the room except Eridan started to feel slightly awkward at the excess of pale PDA being shown.

“So uh, who wants coffee?” asked Durkal casually. Everyone but Eridan and the cuddling moirails on the chair said “me” and quickly shuffled out of the room.

Karkat was the last one out. He paused by the doorway, seeing that Eridan was once again looking at him. He opened his mouth to ask why, but the words died before a sound came out. Eridan raised an eyebrow. Karkat's ears turned red, and he hurried after the others.

**Author's Note:**

> This AU now has a blog! For updates, extra information on the fic, artwork, etc, go check out warmachinestuck on Tumblr.


End file.
